Tuesday, November 27, 2007

cell phones

Okay, I just want to know how parents dealt with teens BCF .... Before Cell Phones.

I guess kids used pay phones although I don't remember much of that. I think I just showed up when I showed up. I never had a bus anyway (always just inside the one mile cutoff). So I had to walk to and from school. My mom didn't have a car when I was in elementary school so somehow I got there in rain or snow ... neighbors all pitched in.

But now schools are farther away and across big roads and what with all the pedophiles lurking, kids these days have little freedom out in the real world.

When my 9th grader left this morning at 7 am, he didn't know if he had marching band practice or not. He says he can't use his cell phone on school grounds so how was I supposed to know if he needed pick up or not? I got a text message from the bus that yes there was practice. But no indication of what time it ended. Is it a one hour or two hour practice? Will the mom who usually does Tuesdays be able to do it?

And he is lucky I even saw the text message because the only ones I get are from Verizon telling me my bill is due.

I want him to be safe. Both my middle schooler and high schooler have cell phones.

But sometimes I just wonder how I survived. Wait. I have a call coming in ...

And so it goes.

the dreaded cancer checkup

I know I have nothing to worry about. But in a few weeks I will have my first ... test to make sure there are no cancer cells popping up.

I don't really get the physiology. A pap smear is for cervical cancer. I ain't got no more cervix. So I guess they scrape the upper vagina? And today I was wondering ... what happened to that empty space left after my uterus, ovaries and fallopian tubes and oh yes, my cervix were removed?

Does everything compress down? Or am I hollow?

These along with the ongoing issue of the numbness of my abdomen and inner thighs will be somethign I will bring up. At my six week checkup, I was all brave and everything was fine.

The good news is I really don't seem to be having some major hormonal hell. I was so far down the road of pausing my menses that my body was ... okay ... no more estrogen. Fine.

So that is the good news.

And so it goes.

writers block

I know I am sinking into some sort of depression when I don't even want to write about the most mundane things in my life.

The last two weeks were like this. I have no idea what causes this. Maybe I do have a definable mental illness. Maybe my instant menopause is wreeking unknown havoc on my hormonal system. Maybe I am just old and tired.

But getting ready for and doing Thanksgiving did me in this year. And it was only 5 of us. But the truth is cleaning and cooking and cleaning up for 5 is pretty much the same as for 20. And as my friend Carolyn pointed out, with 20 you might have more of a chance of people bringing stuff and helping clean up. None of which I had.

Welp. I am feeling with it again so I just need to go with that.

And so it goes.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

domain names for sale

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Saturday, November 10, 2007

donny and marie and 50 cent



Saturday, November 10, 2007

donny and marie and 50 cent

Did you see the Osmond reunion on Oprah?

Oh my gosh. It was wonderful. Over a 100 squeaky-clean white-teethed relatives of Marie who still is a little country and Donny ... a bit rock and roll.

I tend to remember myself as having been cool and all-knowing when I was a kid. More Go Ask Alice than Nancy Drew but the truth is I was once young and naive. I did have a 45 of Puppy Love. The Osmonds, god help me, were my Beatles.

My parents, god love them, were not neurotic baby boomers and didn't know that they they should worry about a concept such as puppy love which could then lead to teenage sex and unplanned pregnancy or even worse suicide. No. This was the era right before After School Specials and Oprah and Phil Donahue. Kids were naive and parents didn't have a clue.

Well I do have a clue and for better or worse my kid is not listening to Puppy Love or the even creepier now that I think about it ... Go Away Little Girl or Too Young.

Nope. Tweens and Teens are now listening to hip hop and I am worried. When my son repeats lyrics that have bitch and whore in them, I go ballistic.

So how do I monitor this? I have already moved the computer out of a spare bedroom into the kitchen so I can see what games my kids are playing when they are supposed to be doing homework. Funny how when I walk over to check their progress the computer monitor miraculously changes from Mech Warriors back to a Word document about African religions.

But since I can't stand most of the music they listen to when they are on the computer in the kitchen, I make them wear headphones. I guess this is where I am going wrong. Because unless I hear my son singing along I have no idea what he is listening to.

Now I know they know my values. Values that started when my sons were young and I would put a note on birthday party invitations ... no weapons or war toys please. When they started watching TV it was PBS and then Nickelodeon. I told them they couldn't watch anything with violence and I know they got the message because tv channels were frequently changed the minute they heard me coming. At least they knew what I meant by violence and tried to protect me from seeing it. Now I find I must put a block on shows with adult humor such as South Park or Mind of Mencia. Children do not get irony.

And they don't get how powerful some words can be -- that they are racist and misogynistic and homophobic. But I think my son just likes the rap and the rhyme and the beat. He doesn't get, I guess just like some adults including Don Imus, that some words hurt, a lot. Must I rely on Al Sharpton to monitor the hip hop music industry? Do I need to wait for Imus-like trash talk to get the conversation going in public discourse? Where is Tipper Gore when I need her?

In the mid 80's Gore tried to get record companies to put warning labels on records. She was ridiculed and I probably thought at the time she was stepping on first amendment rights. Now I have kids and I get it. Sure I can try and ensure that my kids only download the clean versions of songs but apparently one can listen to songs on the internet and even download some for free.


Now look, I don't expect my kids to be squeaky clean like the Osmonds. We live in the real world. If they want to drink coffee and imbibe responsibly once they are of-age, I am all for that. And, by the way, that is the extent of my knowledge of Mormonism. But it just seems the real world is a much scarier place than when my parents forked over the cash for Donny Osmond's newest single Puppy Love. It was 1972 and I was eleven.

In 2007 I have an eleven year old and one of his choices could be to download Hip Hop artist 50 Cent's just released new single entitled I Still Kill. Lovely. Okay, I know just like I didn't get into some crazy love affair at a young age because of listening to Donny Osmond, I am sure my son will not become a killer by listening to gangsta rap. Still, I Still Kill ain't Puppy Love.

And so it goes.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

sleazy salesman, sucker customer

Okay, I really needed to get my sitting room (not living, not family ... we do that in every room! ... no TV ... so what do I call it? My parlor? Truly, these things keep me up at night) carpet cleaned. My stupid dogs had pretty much ruined it and I knew my little cheap steam cleaner was not going to do the trick.

So I get a valpak with coupons in it and there is a coupon for 14.99 for two rooms ... except berber carpet. Shoulda heard the cha ching right there.

They come out and give an estimate and then will do the work then. Hmmmm. Just tell me.

Okay so this guy gets here with two other workers. He is all ... Mr. Salesman. For carpet cleaning? He does a test spot. Looks good to me. I say okay and THEN we sit down while he writes it up and I watch these two strong guys getting really, really bad pee stains out of my carpet. I now know I should have said ... what is the price before you start. What is wrong with me? One is born every minute.

Oh, oh he started with how nice my furniture is. Where did I get it? I point to the coffee table and tell him a consignment shop and am about to move on to my other finds when he says no, the sofa and chairs. I am like. Oh that's from Ikea. I point out where the boy dog lifts his legs and pees on the slipcovers and he says let's do a test spot on that. Whoa. No thanks. I can wash them. Are you sure he asks, have you read the tag. Yes. So, at least he didn't get that business out of me.

Anyhoo, the charges keep adding up. $75 for urine decontamination. Hmmmm. We have all been walking on that carpet for quite a while as nasty as it is. We have been contaminated? Well, Michael did say walking on it with bare feet was gross. I always wear shoes so what do I know.

And for just $30 more I can get Dupont Teflon put on the rug and then that will give me a warranty for all the carpet in my house. It was only for a year so I questioned that and he got on the phone with his boss and they extended it to three years. So any room in my house can be now cleaned for free. All I have to do is pay for the teflon treatment. As priced. Wonder if the per room charge will go up when I try to use it.

Oh whatever. My rug looks brand new. It is still wet though because they did really work hard on it. I just paid double what I was prepared to pay and I feel like I was taken advantage of.

And I really want to kill my stupid dogs who despite all my efforts still won't be housebroken. You know I found them both. Or did they find me ... one of those suckers born every minute.

And so it goes.

halloween


Here is Henry from last night. Can you guess what he is?